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tokyo tower
"Dreams are bad
when all they do is leave the world behind
Dreams are bad
When Negativity is a state of mind"
-Silverchair, Untitled

Hello. My name is Steven.

Ever experience a quiet so loud you wanted to scream just to fill the stagnate room? What I mean by this, that people that used to mean something to you, those relationships becoming nothing more then memories, to where you just want to cry that things return to what they once were? I have thought about Livejournal many times in that way. Our desires are not always a mirror of the effort we wish to exert.

So now you know. My heart yearns for you all to return with bright smiling faces, we can talk about Cowboy Bebop and be buddies again. I have tried this with other friends in life, and realized that it is much harder then it sounds. I feel unfair trying to relight a damp campfire, going to all the effort just to walk away when it's lit. thats not fair. But i suppose 2 willing hearts may be more likely, as compared to only 1.

I do not blame anyone but myself. Even though i am quite a presence on facebook and myspace, which I think I've given out before (if not just search my email (on my info page) or my name, steven vandre).

I will have another update later, with more stuff about me, but i want to end this entry with this:

I am trying to get in contact with Yoko Kanno and Tim Jensen. I have a silly dream that, believe me, I'm not getting my hopes up too high for, but I want to talk to them. If anything else to tell them they're great, and i want to work with them. Why me? Well, I have my reasons. But Tim Jensen (author of many bebop and gits:sac songs) is everything i have aspired to be as a poet.

I am unsure how I'll ever find his info. I know vaguely how to get ahold of kanno-sama, there is Grand Funk's snail mail address and grand funk's feedback email. I tried the former years ago, and the latter i tried recently. Tim Jensen is much more obscure on the internet outside of fandom. Anything official is hard to find, although it seems he's helped translate some japanese books.

Look, I still burn a torch for you guys. I know many of you don't care or may even not like me. and I have made peace with that, we make our decisions and many times grow apart from our friends. We'll have our memories right? If you ever want to try again remember I'm here, or there, or wherever.


Steven Vandre

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good to see you, metalsyko. I still am greatful for the icon you made me :-D

I have not watched bebop in so long, i forgot about this quote. My heart breaks very easily, especially over humans. I often yearn for things to be back how they were. I guess if I fix my grim outlook, it'd make me appreciate where i am going more ^_^

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